Comments on: Should I Have Kids?

By: Cindi

Cindi — Sat, 26 Sep 2015 17:32:39 +0000

After a number of failed relationships, I finally met my “prince” and married in my mid-thirties. We had difficulty conceiving and went through all the infertility testing. Everything was healthy…diagnosis: decreased ovarian reserve (not many eggs left). We weren’t candidates for IVF and as we were contemplating adoption, I surprisingly got pregnant! It was the most amazing, joyful day in my life when I looked at that positive pregnancy test. Our little baby girl is now a teenager and has been an incredible blessing. I would do it all in a heartbeat (I honestly wish I could retrace every step b/c it has just gone by that fast.) Children have a way of bringing out the best and the worst in you…they are often a mirror of yourself. Parenting is a hard job b/c children are not a career project–they are humans with a heart and soul. They refine you and help you become your better self. And, if you have issues with your own mother, (like I do) a daughter will bring out a lot of that stuff and God uses it to heal you. To me, parenting is the best, most-fulfilling job in the world. I thank God that I didn’t miss out on it.

God bless you on your journey to becoming parents!

By: Jocelyn Tran

Jocelyn Tran — Wed, 23 Sep 2015 18:58:58 +0000

Being the same age, I have been thinking about the same question myself for the past few years. It’s tough. When I was young, I dreamt of having a family. Now, it’s time to start one. I’m on the fenced about it. What is our need to procreate really? There’s so many people living on Earth already. The need to “carry on the family name” isn’t really there anymore. I love my current lifestyle and it just being “us”. At times, I feel like our lives are so busy with life and the logistics of it, we don’t even have enough time for just the two of us (minus all the day to day stuff of house chores, errands, social engagements, financial discussions, etc). I know that kids brings a great joy, love, blah, blah, blah…and all the stress is worth it. All your priorities changes…STILL!

I am also worried that kids will bring stress and effect our marriage negatively. For some couples, it brings them closer. But not for all. I told my husband that we’ll start trying. If we don’t get pregnant, then it wasn’t meant to be. We’ll just have fur babies. Adoption might be an option but that isn’t any easier either. In the end, it’s our personal choice but the biological clock is ticking. SIGH.

By: Kareen

Kareen — Fri, 24 Jul 2015 04:29:09 +0000

Jen! This is on my mind more and more these days. I’m turning 30 next month and I think my body wants me to have a baby, but my mind is screaming Nooo! I need to travel more!! I do know I want to have kids, but I wish I had like 6 more years to enjoy my life but I know that’s really pushing it unless I do the IVF option which I don’t want to because it’s horribly expensive and has very little rate of guarantee that it will work. And I have so many more hangups around it that I’d rather not say here. In short, having a child is A REALLY BIG decision and you are right to think a great deal about it first. Thanks for sharing…

By: lifeunrefined

lifeunrefined — Mon, 13 Jul 2015 20:48:44 +0000

I did read something once that having kids brings down the overall happiness in marriage…and I know it’s just a statistic but that’s enough to make me hesitate! Here’s to hoping that if you or I ever have kids, we’ll have lots of silly, loving, joyful moments with them (and still manage to have interesting lives).

By: lifeunrefined

lifeunrefined — Mon, 13 Jul 2015 20:38:40 +0000

What an inspirational family! I can’t imagine life without my sister either – I am so grateful and blessed to have her in my life.

By: lifeunrefined

lifeunrefined — Mon, 13 Jul 2015 20:37:52 +0000

Wow, thanks for sharing that Lena! I hear so many stories about people who wanted to be a mom and realized it was not at all what they expected (in a slightly negative way) so it’s really encouraging to hear your positive experience. And you’re lucky to have such an amazing mother! If you don’t mind me asking, what qualities of your mother did you feel you couldn’t live up to?

By: lifeunrefined

lifeunrefined — Mon, 13 Jul 2015 20:35:23 +0000

Thanks Emily! That must be hard to live apart from your husband, but hopefully you’ll be reunited soon! Congrats on (almost) being done with your Masters! That’s a big deal!

By: lifeunrefined

lifeunrefined — Mon, 13 Jul 2015 20:32:52 +0000

I totally agree. That’s why we figured it’s time to start trying!

By: lifeunrefined

lifeunrefined — Mon, 13 Jul 2015 20:31:03 +0000

And thanks for yours! I’ve seen a lot of friends struggle through infertility and although I can’t imagine the pain, I know it’s there. Love and best wishes to you!

By: Margaret

Margaret — Mon, 13 Jul 2015 12:12:18 +0000

I am not married and have no kids so I may not know what I’m talking about, but I have 7 wonderful siblings. I would never want to live my life without them. I always get a lot of questions from people, “Are you going to have a lot of kids like YOUR parents?” I usually just smile and say I don’t know. Because I really don’t. My parents choose to not use birth control or worry about when to have kids and I have 6 sisters and a brother to show for it. One of my older sister is a Psychologist and my other older sister got a full ride scholarship to college and is on her 4th mission trip. My brother is a states swimmer and my four younger sisters are hilarious and make everyone laugh. Bottom line: You have no idea what might be in store unless you give it a try!